When Growing Connections Whom Do You Serve? (Hint: It’s Not You)

When building your network, surround yourself with the best possible brains and the most responsive and interesting people. Fill your network with those who will enable you to best serve those who are most important to you -- your clients.

Recently, I attended a lovely event for women entrepreneurs meant to spark dialogue, build connections, and share perspectives, experience, and insight. One of many things I learned is that every generation has its challenges. Back in the day, sexual harassment was something many of us experienced multiple times a week, and formal maternity leave wasn’t a thing. But one thing is clear: in every decade, in every political era, it is challenging being a woman in business.

When we bring an edge, sometimes this is helpful, often it isn’t. Our passion has been called “aggression,” our commitment to excellence labeled “demanding” or “difficult.” Sometimes other women can be our worst enemies, other times our best champions. Men, too, can be our worst saboteurs and sometimes our best advocates. Further, cultural and historical expectations can drive biases that are far from ideal.

There are no easy solutions to these issues. I learned long ago that we can’t control what others say, do, or respond to crisis and chaos. However, I do have advice. I feel I’m at an age where my experiences have given me wisdom and empathy as well as insight that is unique.

If you have ever read any of my previous CPA Now blogs, you will notice that I feel very strongly about networks: who fills up our network, how we identify our most important relationships, and how well we engage with them. How we decide to best add value to each relationship determines our success, more than anything else. Working hard and a desire to be the best are table stakes. If we really want to be the best, the mission can’t be in a vacuum. We must have greater intention and provide the best possible service, product, or counsel to those we serve. At the end of the day, we must focus on them, not us. But who constitutes “them”? All of us need to be clear on who our “them” is.

To best serve my clients, I must surround myself with the best possible brains and the most empathetic, responsive, and interesting people. Experts who are willing to make time for others. That means I must fill my network with those who will enable me to best serve those who are most important to me (my clients), or can serve them directly.

By building a community based on helping others, we help ourselves. Along the way we grow smarter, approach things more holistically, and enrich our relationships and certainly our own lives. The best way to succeed is not to talk about how great you are, but to show how you helped others solve real problems.

So, my advice to young women, women in transition, and women who are in senior roles can be boiled down to the following:

• Make sure you have a great network filled with people you really respect, like, and wish to hang out with. Make sure that they fill in the gaps where you have missing pieces and can help solve problems for those in your network and provide new perspectives or unique insights. You should never be the smartest one in the room.
• Know as much as you can about each person in your network, so you know exactly how to best serve that relationship in the most authentic way.
• Always be a matchmaker. Think about how you can connect the folks in your network to others.
• Be yourself, but don’t talk about how great you are and what you have done. Don’t one-up, and don’t have a story to match their stories. Share anecdotes that will help them see solutions or a connection. Never be the hero in any of the stories you tell.
• Most importantly, open your network to others, especially to young women and young men. Be a networking mentor. I was so fortunate when starting in my career that I had no shortage of folks who walked me around at every event introducing me to their contacts and friends.
• Always say thank you and show gratitude.

Everyone has limits and boundaries, and you need to know yours. You can’t, nor do you have time, to help everyone. And if you don’t have time, perhaps introduce them to someone who does. Networking is not about collecting people. It should be the act of connecting with people who share your values, who you can help and who will inspire you and make you most able to help those who are most important to you. Networking is an opportunity to learn something new, to accumulate knowledge, to make new connections, and to have fun. By being interested in others, you will become far more interesting yourself, and work will not feel like work.

Dorothy Potash is the president and co-founder of Development Dynamx in Radnor, Pa. She can be reached at dorothy@developmentdynamx.com. 

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Statements of fact and opinion are the author's responsibility alone and do not imply an opinion on the part of the PICPA's officers or members. The information contained herein does not constitute accounting, legal, or professional advice. For actionable advice, you must engage or consult with a qualified professional.